Does anyone else go through these dry spells in life? I feel like I have been in the desert these past several weeks. My soul feels dry and parched. Spiritually, I have allowed anxiety and discouragement to cloud my vision and steal the joy of my salvation. I know the things I need to do yet I do not do them. Instead, I hide in the pit I have dug for myself. And I wonder, why does God feel so far from me?
My heart has grown cold and surrounded by walls I have built to protect myself. The choices, actions, attitudes, and words of others have pierced me and so I retreat. I don't like feeling disappointed and hurt and it is so much easier to hide behind a smile. People have told me I need to grow thicker skin but no one can tell me how to do that exactly. Is there some sort of lotion I could use to make my skin thick? Does anyone know? Then again, I have met some of these thick-skinned people and I think I will stick to my thin skin. Even though it hurts sometimes, at least it only hurts me instead of those around me.
So here I am. Stuck in the desert and so, so weary.
And isn't it just like God to use the most unexpected source to breathe some life into my soul today?
A little girl from church handed me an envelope and I stuck it in my purse thinking it was a note from her mom. Later, when I opened the envelope I was surprised to find it was a letter from the little girl. And it was full of love and encouragement and life giving words! She shared her heart and her love for me in a way that tore down some of those walls. I was brought to tears that God would use her tender heart to soften mine. I was reminded of God's commands that we are to be like little children in our faith. Her simple words were used by God today. And I thank her. And Him.
Her words were like water to my soul. But more than that, they reminded that I am being watched and looked to for an example. I am thankful she sees me the way she does and I know I don't deserve that level of admiration. But I want to aspire to deserve it more and more each day. I don't want her to ever look at me and see a dried up shell of a Christian. I have to keep growing even when it is hard and I feel discouraged. I have to do it for me... and for her.
Her words fell into my hardened and detached heart and I couldn't keep myself from feeling God reaching down and loving me through her. It was a big reminder of how much our words of encouragement matter to others. God uses us to breathe life into others. But we have to follow His leading. We have to be willing to obey and be used. When I feel that urging to reach out it is so easy to ignore it and find excuses. But it is needed! There is someone who needs to hear the words God has given me to say. Someone else is in the desert and they need to know they are not alone and there is hope.
God used a little girl today. I am so grateful for her. And tomorrow I am going to tell her just that and find a way to breathe life into someone's weary soul. A child shall lead them!