There's this song I've been hearing on the radio often lately and it is one of those that you just feel you should have written and you wish you could sing so you could share it with the world. The words are the perfect expression of what I have been feeling in my heart for so long now.
It is by Steven Curtis Chapman and it is called "The Long Way Home".
Home. That's a word that brings so many emotions to the surface for me. I have spent many years wishing and longing for a place to call home. This journey has been full of twists and turns and changes and I grow so weary of it. I just want a place where I know I belong. A place to unpack the boxes and make my home. A place where I feel safe and secure.
And then I remember that there is no place in this world that will ever or should ever truly feel like home. Because I know that this is not my home. My home is still in the not yet. It is the place I long for in my deepest depths. The place I will finally find my peace.
The journey is so long. It has been full of bumps and mountains and valleys. There are times when I am sure I am going the wrong way. That God is leading me the wrong way. I don't understand His plan at all at times. I wish He would make the path smoother and, well, clearer.
And I know that I have made choices that have made this road much more difficult. I have followed my own foolish desires or let my fears get the best of me. And my impatience. I have deliberately taken some side roads that make the journey even longer. Oh, the regrets I have carried for way too long.
Though my heart longs for the journey to be over, to take a shortcut and just be there already, I know that I am not alone. I know that I am being led and loved and forgiven. Every step of the way. I will get there someday and the journey will be a distant memory.
I can't imagine what it will feel like to finally be home. But I know I'm going to get there. Someday.