Monday, August 24, 2009

Accidental Blogger

I have been a horrible blogger lately. There are many reasons for this like a crazy busy summer, caring for a toddler, unpacking still, lack of motivation or ideas, and all sorts of other things that get in the way. But, when it comes down to it, I just haven't felt like it.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about why I blog in the first place. It started as a way to keep our family and friends updated about the adoption process and then it turned into this whole other thing and I am trying to figure out exactly what that is. I have been observing some drama unfolding on another blog that I follow. This is a popular blog with many followers and there is a lot of speculation going on about her and her motivations. While I have had my own doubts about her story at times, there is a group of people who are tearing her every word apart and it is all a bit much for me. I hate drama.

When I read some of the criticism of her motivations, though, it got me thinking about my own. Why do I blog? Some say that all bloggers are seeking attention or a book deal. Seeking attention would be a new one for me. I usually go out of my way to stay out of the spotlight.

As far as a book deal, I don't see that happening any time soon. I can honestly say that writing a book didn't even cross my mind when we started this blog. I have discovered along the way that I do love to write and I would like to explore that option in the future. So, I didn't start with that intention but I discovered a hidden passion because of my blog. I would say that I am grateful for blogging because of that.

As I read my blog, I can see the slow progression from just sharing information about the adoption to sharing my heart. This blog became an outlet for me to say the things about grieving that I could not say to anyone else. I was able to work through so much because I had these invisible friends to talk to and share my pain. I believe that I am further along in my grief journey than I would have been if I had not discovered blogging. And so I am grateful for blogging because of that.

I didn't start blogging with the intention of changing the world or changing anything for that matter. Along the way, though, I had people share with me that reading my words was helping them work through some things of their own or giving them a new outlook on something, or just making them realize that they are not alone. I realized that God can use my pain for His glory. Even through blogging. And for that I am very grateful.

I guess I would say I am an "accicental blogger". I honestly didn't have any real motivations or intentions other than sharing information but I discovered I enjoy blogging and it adds something to my life. Many things actually. So after an examination of all of these factors, I believe blogging is a positive thing for me for now. I guess, just like with all things, it is something I will have to reexamine at different times to check myself and my motivations. If it ever becomes about attention or anything else like that I would want to quit. For now, I believe God is using it to change me and challenge me and I pray that through Him it might actually be making a small difference in this world.


Anonymous said...

Okay, now I have to ask why do I check your blog, and Leah's blogs nearly every day? Am I just a stalker? I hope that's not the case. I guess I just enjoy finding out what's going on in your life. I think that God has given you a talent for sharing your thoughts and putting them in perspective. Many of your blogs make me think about how I can apply things to my life, or help me understand others who may be going through similar things.

Keep blogging! Tracy

Beth said...

Keep blogging. God uses you in ways you don't know.